Relationship was the topic in that 20 minutes drive with Clive. I wonder of all the people that I will discuss this topic, it’s Clive.
But it was a very good discussion. In fact, from the start of the ice cream venture, we had been discussing this on and off, except this time we really went into it.
Our situation may be very similar, but our thinking is not. Haha…that’s make the discussion interesting. Clive is a very analytical guy who is able to analyse points that I always missed out. He is also a super nice guy whom all mothers will love to have as a son-in-law, unlike me who has an evil side.
The topic is, “when a relationship is unstable, is it always the man’s fault and responsibility?”
Based on Clive’s view from a book, he said “yes”. Me, of course “no”.
While I say “no” to Clive, I will say “yes” to many people. I discovered over the past months that whenever a relationship is unstable, the first impression is “the man is at fault”, “the man must take responsibility.” This is the perception that most people has.
I am kind of sick to explain why I say “no” to this people, so friends, don’t ask me anymore, my answer is “Yes, it’s my fault.”
December 13, 2007 at 5:47 pm
hmmm…tis has always been a very interesting topic for discussion, and it can take as long as it could last - in fact, endlessly.
perception is subjective. however, is it so important tat there’s a need to nail who’s at fault when upsets happened?
to me, no! many times couple dwelled on whose fault was tat, and ended up aggravating the already shitty situation.
instead of looking at resolving the sour situation, learn from it and make the relationship stronger; the focus was shifted.
“all upsets are opportunities to know the truth”. so, wat’s the “truth” in the upset? upsets occured, tat’s a truth which can’t be reverted. so why not make good use of it for learning, making corrections, then move on to a better and stronger relationship. evolves it to another level.
channelled the energy on working out wat works best, and not whose at fault. isn’t tis more worthwhile? especially when u luv tis person so much to wanna sabotage ur relationship with the wrong focus.