An Entrepreneur’s Journey

Ever heard of this program, Business School For Entrepreneur (BSE)? I’m heading to Kuala Lumpur for this 8-days program.

I’m feeling excited yet felt a tinkle feeling of fear. The reason is I know what the program is going to be like. I may have to face myself in situation that will occur in the program.

It is an experiential program, unlike the University or Diploma type of entrepreneurship courses, which are mostly theoretical.

This is the type of programs that I like. It should be experiential, as humans learn most from doing. When you tell a kid the fire can hurt him, he would never understand it, until he touches the fire.

Learning about business is the same. It’s about doing and practicing. Unfortunately some schools are stuck in their traditional way of teaching. Students must sit in a classroom listening to the lecturer’s boring lesson. And in some cases, the lecturer has no prior experiences to business. Isn’t this irony?

Someone who has never started a business teaching about business. Someone who has never be in the sales line teaching how to sell.

That’s why I can never be a school teacher. I must be congruent in order to be effective. That’s why I’m started a training company. I choose what I want to teach, love it this way.

I will be back on the 23 Sep. In the mean time, I will enjoy myself in the program, learn as much as I can.

Few days back I wrote about the five successes daily. If you have not read it, click here. I’ve been practicing it when I wrote that post. It had been an amazing journey since then. It had only been four days since I started writing my successes daily, and I am seeing many great things that is happening in my life.

I completed more tasks than I used to. I am able to pick up some lose pieces in business that was in the past to rebuild them again. I felt energize throughout the day. The Universe present me with many more opportunities. I just received another call for a new opportunity.

Thank you my friend for sharing this piece of information with me, allowing me to celebrate my success. Everyday I go “YEAH” for at least 5 times.

Thank you Universe for giving what I have and continue giving me more.

Just came back from M&Y Preview in JB. I felt really great, but I don’t know why. I felt my body and spirit is filled with energy. On the journey back, I just felt “WOW”. No words can describe that feeling.

Maybe it’s because Universe has been good to me. Maybe it’s because I can do what I like best - training and sharing. Maybe it’s because Jean’s student has scored well in a test. Maybe it’s because Jean and me is connecting. Maybe it’s because M&Y preview is awesome. Maybe it’s because…

Too many possibilities, hmmm…..maybe it’s because of all the reasons above.

Anyhow, it doesn’t matter what the reason was, most importantly I feel awesome and just want to indulge in this feeling.

A decision was made. I actually decided on a decision weeks ago. I felt relieved after making that decision, moving on in my life, and not to be bothered by the issue again.

However, a new thought surfaced last night. An incident I saw from a third party view triggered this thought. I am reconsidering this decision. Now I have to go through that feeling of making this decision again. Oh…I drag that feeling. Nevertheless, I will feel what I need to feel, acknowledge that feeling in me.

Also a friend said something to me. I don’t really take heart to what he said, as unlike him, he is worried of other people’s perception, I’m not. But what he said did make some sense from his perspective, though I felt it was very surface. I believe it was because he did not understand what I’m going through when he said that. I do not blame him as he doesn’t have that kind of experience.

Life is full of decisions. These decisions are check points of life journey. Making each one of them brings you to a place you do not know. It’s the unknown that brings insecure to man and excitement to life.

Some friends called, msn or sms me to asked me some question, tell me their views about some issues of my life. I know they are concerned. In my view, they are concern on the issues, not so much about me.

What really piss me off is it seems that I’m at fault for all this. People seems to be pointing finger at me. I start to wonder if a person with a stronger character usually gets the blame. It seems so to me.

People come to me expecting me to be the one to make change. While I am making changes, changes that you do not see, I do not need people coming at me, talking to me like I am responsible for all these.

Don’t talk to me about laying blame or justify. You do not know enough of the issue to judge. People who do not understand the whole issue, it is better for you to keep quiet.

The truth is painful, yet you have not touch the truth. Until you touch the truth, I suggest you stop pointing at me. Before I shut you off completely, stop what you are doing to me.

I got to release all the bad experiences, negative sub conscious and all the stir in me. I must detach from that emotional pain that I am experiencing.

I release this feeling of sadness.
I release this feeling of anger.
I release this feeling of frustration.
I release this feeling of confusion.
I release this feeling of selfishness.

I choose to be happy now. I choose to feel great. I choose to have abundance in my life. I choose to have love.
I choose to smile again.

This is so sick, upset, helpless, frustration, anger. I am affected emotionally, but I am not ready to let these feelings control me. I am letting them go today.

I made a decision today, I no longer care what has happened around me, whatever the situation is, I want to feel peace. From now on, ir’s me, myself and Joe only. No more emotional stuff today. I can’t be stuck in all these emotional crap that long, there are better things to do, there is a higher purpose to fulfill. There is so much I can achieve.

Even when things are not resolve, I don’t give a darn, it’s time to move on. Spinning in the same place does not serve me or anyone. Whoever is left behind, it’s their responsibility to catch up. I don’t see a reason to stop or slow down for anyone. Call me selfish, bastard, unloving, call me what you want, I don’t care. What you think of me is none of my business. I have a life to live, and now, no more holding back.

There are so much to accomplish, there is no time to slow down for anyone, no time to be sucked in by craps. I got to move on for myself. Stuck in the same position doesn’t allow me to grow. I don’t want to indulge in those crappy feeling, and gradually becoming a victim. I control my feelings, thoughts and actions. Those who want to indulge in their crappy shit, so be it, but leave me out.

For all my good friends, I will support you in whichever way I can, you have my promise. I am willing to be opened to you, to share with you and you with me. Don’t worry, I did not reverse back to my old self, I just moved on.

为甚麽我这麽累？ 这已经是一个多星期的不知道第几次了。
好多年前也有过同样的经验。
不同的人，不同的事，但那份累的感觉却是那麽的熟悉。

不知道开窍是好还是坏。
看到一些看不到的事，
感觉到一些以前感觉不到的感觉。
听到一些以前听不到的声音。
但却也看到了哀，感觉了累，听到了烦。

以为不会再有这份累的感觉。
可是它以浮上海面了。

我累了。
我还会继续累吗？

This is what I’m feeling right now. So freaking frustrated. I just want to pen this feeling here and move on. I have no wish to hold on to this feeling at all, it is draining me out.

This whole process is so freaking draining, that I thought I may just concuss anytime. I thought I will need a long rest, but no, I woke up as I normally do.

I have to get this feeling out. I have to put a stop to those things that I’m doing. Seems like I am attracting them. I got to be selective now, if not I will be drained out totally.

A statement by Wayne Dyer, “I want to feel good, if your call is not to do that, you got the wrong number.”

I want to feel good now!

什麽是想念？
想念到底是怎麽一回事？

它是一种心情。
它是发自内心的一种感觉
它能使你陶醉。
它让你伤悲。
它也能让你快乐。
它使你心里不安。
它给于你力量。
它给于你目标。

为什麽人会想念另一个人呢？